HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Season One[]
The Cast:
Commander Shepard- The Guy Who Makes All The Key Decisions
Mary Sartain- The INV Chick
Martin Luther King Jr.- The Civil Rights Activist
Betty White- The Fun-Lovin' Old Lady
Marc Anthony- The Loser Who Tried To Take Over Rome
Taylor Swift- The Girl Who Writes Songs About People She Breaks Up With
Billy- The Idiot
Wonder Woman- The Obvious Lesbian
Danny DeVito- The Little Meatball
Chelsey- The Girl Bruno Is Stalking
Bruno- The Guy Stalking Chelsey
Palutena- The Goddess
Week One[]
Martin wins the first HoH.
He nominates Taylor, who annoys him greatly, and Marc, who is too pathetic to do anything about it.
Shepard, Mary, and Bruno are selected for the POV.
Shepard wins the POV. He does not use it, since he was feeling Paragon and didn't want to rock the boat.
After Marc makes contradicting deals in an effort to save himself, nobody trusts him, and he is voted out 6-3.
Week Two[]
Wonder Woman wins the HoH.
She puts up Danny and Martin, who both made a lot of lesbian jokes about her.
Palutena, Billy, and Chelsey are selected for the POV.
Wonder Woman wins the POV, and leaves her nominations.
With two of the most well-liked houseguests on the block, the vote is 4-4, and Wonder Woman evicts Martin. Now the entire house is pretty angry at her.
Week Three[]
Shepard wins HoH.
He nominates Palutena, who he sees as his main competition threat besides his ally, Wonder Woman (he's her ONLY ally), and Danny, who he knows nobody will want to evict.
Taylor, Chelsey, and Mary are selected for the POV.
Shepard wins the POV, and does not use it.
A new black widow alliance, formed by Taylor, Mary, Chelsey, and led by Betty White decides to take out Danny, a likability threat, so they can recruit Palutena.
Week Four[]
Wonder Woman wins the HoH.
She nominates Shepard and Bruno, at the command of the Black Widows, who claim she's in the alliance now.
Billy, Taylor, and Chelsey are selected for the POV.
Wonder Woman wins the POV and does not use it.
Due to Bruno's stalker-ish behavior, he is evicted 5-1, despite Betty wanting Shepard the challenge threat out.
Week Five[]
Shepard wins the HoH.
He puts up Wonder Woman and Palutena, the two biggest challenge threats in the Black Widows.
Betty, Taylor, and Mary are selected for the POV.
Wonder Woman wins the POV and saves herself.
Shepard puts up Taylor as a replacement nom.
Betty and Wonder Woman decide Palutena is a bigger threat, and betray her in a 3-2 vote.
Week Six[]
Wonder Woman wins HoH.
She puts up the two remaining males, Billy and Shepard.
Betty, Mary, and Taylor are selected for the POV.
Wonder Woman wins the POV, and does not use it.
Billy is unanimously evicted after Shepard romances all of the women.
Week Seven[]
Shepard wins HoH.
He nominates Wonder Woman, the challenge threat, and Betty, the leader.
Shepard wins the POV.
After making a deal with Betty (Betty was lying) he takes her off and puts up Taylor.
Wonder Woman, who they didn't like anyway, is evicted 2-1.
Week Eight[]
Taylor wins the HoH.
Jealous after finding out Shepard flirted with ALL of the women in Week Six, she puts up Mary and Chelsey.
Shepard wins the POV. He saves Chelsey in an attempt to get Betty out when she's the replacement.
Betty is evicted 2-0.
Week Nine[]
Shepard wins HoH.
He puts up Taylor and Mary, since he now has a deal with Chelsey.
Shepard wins the POV, and doesn't use it.
Chelsey evicts Taylor, who she never really liked anyway.
Finale[]
Chelsey somehow wins the final HoH.
She stupidly evicts Mary, because of her crush on Shepard.
Shepard wins the jury vote, 5-2, and is crowned the winner.
Taylor is America's favorite, thanks to her fangirls.
Season Two[]
CAST:
Ron Swanson- The Manly Libertarian
Strawberry Shortcake- The Overly Sweet Girl Named After A Delicious Dessert
Kenneth Parcells- The Immortal NBC Page
Hilary Clinton- The Uptight Politician
Andy Herren- The Giant Anthromorphic Rat
Mrs. Claus- Santa's Wife
Admiral Ackbar- The Guy Who Thinks Everything Is A Trap
Lady Gaga- The... Unique One
Steven King- The Creepy Author
Ms. Cartman- The Dirty Whore
Dexter- The Young Boy With A Laboratory
Samus Aran- The Badass Chick
Week One[]
Dexter wins first HoH.
He nominates Strawberry and Andy, the two most hated people in the house.
Ron, Samus, and Mrs. Claus are selected for the POV.
Ron wins the POV. He doesn't use it because he hates both of the nominees.
Andy is evicted 5-4.
Week Two[]
Samus wins HoH.
She puts up Lady Gaga and Mrs. Claus, thinking she can win the POV and backdoor whoever she wants.
Stephen, Ms. Cartman, and Dexter are chosen for the POV.
Dexter wins the POV. He doesn't use it to oppose Samus.
Lady Gaga is evicted 7-1 over the beloved Mrs. Claus.
Week Three[]
Ron wins HoH.
He puts up Hilary, whose political views he opposes, and Kenneth, who annoys him to no end with autograph requests.
Strawberry, Mrs. Claus, and Stephen are chosen for the POV.
Ron wins the POV.
After a lot of begging, Kenneth is taken off of the block, and replaced with Strawberry, who also annoys Ron.
Ron tries to get an alliance of Kenneth, Ackbar, Stephen, and Samus to evict Hilary, but Ackbar flips last minute, thinking that it was a trap. Strawberry goes 4-3.
Week Four[]
Samus wins HoH.
She puts up Stephen, who she thinks was the flipper last week because of his creepy ways, and Mrs. Claus as a pawn.
Hilary, Ron, and Ackbar are chosen for the POV.
Samus wins the POV.
After learning Ackbar was the true traitor, Samus takes Stephen off and puts Ackbar up.
Heeding Ackbar's warning of "Don't evict me, it's a trap!", still kinda upset Stephen flips and evicts Mrs. Claus with the counter-alliance of Dexter, Hilary, and Ms. Cartman, to oppose the power alliance. Mrs. Claus is gone, 4-2.
Week Five[]
Ms. Cartman wins HoH.
She nominates Samus and Hilary, her two "womanly rivals", totally throwing her one-week alliance with Hilary and Dexter out the window.
Dexter, Ackbar, and Ron are chosen for the POV.
Samus wins the POV. Stephen, who Ms. Cartman sees as the creepiest, least bangable male (made more odd by the fact that an alien and a child are in the game) is the replacement.
Samus, Kenneth, and Ron take advantage of the veto win and evict Stephen, who betrayed them, 3-2.
Week Six[]
Kenneth wins HoH.
He nominates Ackbar and Samus, at the prodding of his master, Ron. Ron chose these two because they were his greatest physical opponents, and Ron doesn't need Samus now that he's banging Ms. Cartman.
Hilary, Ron, and Ms. Cartman are chosen for the veto.
Ms. Cartman wins, and saves Ackbar, who reminds her about how it's a trap. They later bone. Hilary, Ron's more irrelevant enemy, is put up as a replacement by Kenneth, who just can't believe he's with TV's Ron Swanson.
Ron decides Hilary has gotten Democratic enough, and he makes a deal with Samus to avoid her seeking revenge, and Hilary is evicted 3-1.
Week Seven[]
Ron wins HoH.
He puts up Kenneth, who has gotten stalker-ish, and Dexter, who has been plotting against him with Ackbar.
Kenneth wins the POV.
Ron puts Ms. Cartman, who he caught banging Kenneth, up as a replacement.
Samus (who is annoyed) and Kenneth (who is ashamed) evict Ms. Cartman, 2-1.
Week Eight[]
Samus wins HoH.
She puts up Kenneth and Ackbar, hoping that she can secretly blindside Ron, he "partner".
She wins POV, too, but then reveals to Ackbar that it was all a TRAP!
Sadly, the trap fails when Kenneth is evicted after he was caught masturbating to pictures he took of Ron in the shower, 2-0.
Week Nine[]
Dexter wins HoH.
He puts up Samus and Ron, finally fulfilling his goal of taking out the power duo.
Ron wins the POV, and Ackbar goes up.
Ron finally takes out Ackbar, who didn't even think it was a trap.
Week Ten[]
Samus is the final HoH. She stays honorable and takes Ron to the finals.
The jury gives the win to Samus, who was better at challenges.
Season Three[]
Cast:
Mel Gibson- The Racist Catholic Actor
Barbie- The Blonde- April
George W. Bush- The Incompetent President- Brittany
Analpiniqua- The Big Bootied Bitch- Erika
Billy Garcia- The Candice-Obsessed
Queen Elizabeth- The Queen
Jenn Arroyo- The Punk Rock Floater
Kevin Garnett- The Jerkhole Basketball Player- Jessica
Daisy- The Wild Gal- JoJo
Monty Burns- The Evil Rich Guy
Angelica Pickles- The Brat
Spock- The Logical One
Week One[]
Analpiniqua wins HoH.
She puts up Monty, who made lots of racial remarks, and Jenn, who no one will ever vote for cuz she's such a non-threat.
Daisy, Spock, and Elizabeth are chosen for the POV.
Spock wins the POV, and logically does not use it.
Monty bribes the majority of the houseguests to evict Jenn, 6-3.
Week Two[]
Mel wins HoH.
He puts up Kevin and Angelica, a minority who he hates and a little girl who annoys him.
Monty, Analpiniqua, and Elizabeth are chosen for the POV.
Kevin wins the POV and saves himself.
Analpiniqua, the other minority, is named the replacement nominee by our favorite racist HoH.
While Mel wanted Analpiniqua out because he was racist, most people weren't racist and voted out the universally annoying Angelica, 6-2.
Week Three[]
Daisy wins HoH.
She puts up George and Spock, two people who have been "creeping on her and Barbie".
Kevin, Barbie, and Monty are chosen for the POV.
Kevin wins the POV, and does not use it.
Spock makes a logical argument of why they should keep him, but because the house is mostly idiots, he is evicted anyway, 5-2.
Week Four[]
Kevin wins HoH.
He nominates Monty, a racist, and in attempting to nominate Mel, the other racist, he accidentally nominates George instead, saying "all old white dudes look the same".
Mel, Analpiniqua, and Barbie are chosen for the POV.
Kevin wins the POV, and takes of Monty, replacing him with Mel and correcting his mistake.
Mel is almost unanimously evicted for his racism, 5-1.
Week Five[]
Daisy wins HoH.
She nominates Kevin, who is just a jerkhole, and George, who she thinks is a creeper.
Billy, Monty, and Elizabeth are chosen for the POV.
Kevin wins POV. Daisy replaces him with Billy, who has been talking creepily about Candice.
George uses 9/11 to his advantage once again, convinces the remaining houseguests that Billy is Muslim, not Hispanic, and Billy goes 4-1.
Week Six[]
Kevin wins HoH.
He puts up Monty and George, the old white dudes.
Daisy, Barbie, and Elizabeth are chosen for the POV.
Kevin wins the POV and does not use it.
George convinces everyone that Monty is also a Muslim, and Monty goes 3-1.
Week Seven[]
Daisy wins HoH.
She nominates George and Kevin, the outsiders of the Lady's Alliance Analpiniqua started.
Kevin, however, wins the POV.
Elizabeth is the replacement nom, since Anal deems her the most likely to flip due to her hatred of Daisy and Barbie.
Realizing this is a good oppurtunity to take out a free-thinker, Anal flips and evicts Elizabeth with Kevin, 2-1.
Week Eight[]
Kevin wins HoH.
He is convinced by Anal, who he has started flirting with him, to put up George and Daisy, hoping to keep the Lady's Alliance strong.
Kevin does not use the POV.
George is finally evicted, 2-0.
Week Nine[]
Daisy wins HoH.
She nominates Anal and Kevin, sparing her bestie Barbie.
Daisy wins the POV and doesn't use it.
Deciding Anal has had too much control, Daisy tells her airhead friend to evict Anal.
Finale[]
Daisy wins the final HoH, and takes Barbie to the finals.
Daisy is unanimously voted the winner, since Barbie did absolutely nothing.